Category Archives: Moving

The Naked and New.

Posted on by

0

This morning I opened my eyes to a completely different world.
My life routine has been officially compromised and nothing will ever be the same again.
This faithful morning at 7:00am I awoke in Odessa, FL. About 20 minutes away from Tampa, my new home.
Last night I made the grueling 12 hour drive with all of my earthly possessions, toward the unknown and unsure.
I stepped 12 hours out of my comfort zone and into a world of possibilities.
My morning shower was slightly longer than usual, I washed and scrubbed and cleaning off every speck of what might have been left there from my past life. The life I was living in North Carolina. The unhappiness foamed up on my body in forms of soap bubbles, every pore was being washed clean of every unhappy night spent in a place that I never truly felt at home in.

Here I am. Facing this new world head on. I have zero worries, what could I possibly worry about with my Lord on my side. God has grabbed me tightly around the heart in a matter of a week (soon I will be able to tell that amazing story).
My new focus is on my new life that I have begun to build and form.
I am molding who I want to be for the remainder of my days.

This is it. Here I am.
Diving head first into the most beautiful pool of unknown.
What could possibly be more exciting?

Office quotes.

Posted on by

0

The last week that I spent at the office, I began writing down all the sweet and funny things people had told me concerning me moving.
Just for the soul purpose that when I look back Ill remember the good, and not just the bad.

20130506-183016.jpg

“We’re going to do Gluten free shots before you leave. I’m going to ferment something in my house for you.”
“The sad part is that when you leave, I’m going to have to start doing my job and actually fix the computers, instead of you doing it.” -The IT guy
“Chris said he knew you would fit in Tampa just fine when he saw you dance the other night””It’s going to get boring again, Annie”
“But.. Whose going to fix the computers? And our iPhones?”
“I already dread how quiet it’s going to be after you leave.”
“The Tourist players are gonna miss you when they come back for their follow up appointments.”
“We’re gonna miss that bubbly personality.”
“You’re just so happy very day, you’re the happiest person I know! Isn’t she the happiest person you know?”
“We’ll, you’re too good of a person. In the sense that you do good for everyone else and not yourself.”
“You’re like our daughter. We are so proud of you.”

And the one that really choked me up.

“Annie, you don’t come across a heart like yours everyday. I have never met someone your age so selfless. You walk around here laughing, and humming and singing, and you never let the world beat the life out of you. You’re a strong one, Annie. One of the few.”

What’s an Emotion.

Posted on by

0

My hands settle on the keyboard. What words can I conjure to explain my emotions. What could I possibly write down right now that will help me understand months/years down the road, how I feeling at this exact moment in my life… What words fit?

Anxiety? Fear? Hurt? Depressed? Anger? Resentment?

They come close, but they aren’t the right words. How can I explain how my insides are on fire, constant knots and nausea. My heart is constantly pounding at full speed at all times. Tears roll down from my eyes at the most inconvenient times, in the most inconvenient places.

What is wrong?
Why am I crying?
Why do I scream lyrics at the top of my lungs only to fight more tears painfully making their way up my throat and rolling down my cheeks.
How can I be so happy to be moving towards the life I have been dreaming of, while at the same time feeling so empty.

Anxiety has hit again. My anxieties have anxieties.
What if something goes wrong.
What if I lose more.
What if I never see the money that I had loaned my ex boyfriend.
What if my car breaks down.
What if I hate living in Florida. Then what. Where do I go. Back to Franklin, back to Asheville, back to the life I have resented and hated for the past 20 years of my life.

Why am I so afraid.
Why is this so hard.
Why did I have to give him everything. … Absolutely everything.
Everything I could give.
All of my love, all of my heart, all of my effort and time and money and bliss.

How could he watch me walk away without even a goodbye.
I’m so broken.
I’ve become so cold.
I dread the next man who braves that slow painful stroll to my heart. The things that man will have to endure to simply be close to me, will I be that closed off from now on?
Is my heart officially frozen in time, waiting for the perfect one. I thought I had found that perfect one. Can I go through the search again.

My heart is on fire.
And not even slightly in a good way. Rage. Anger. Frustration.
Get me out of this state.
Get me so far away I cant even turn back if I begged to.

Decisions.

Posted on by

0

526596_10151435218712155_1400496900_nOne of the hardest parts of life, is deciding whether to try harder, or walk away, and in some instances, those decisions end up being the greatest choices you’ve made for yourself in a very long time.
After months of fighting with my heart, and pushing aside the inevitable, I am finally doing what I have been planning for myself for years. Moving far, far away from North Carolina. Permanently. With no one to convince me to do otherwise, this is my life. For the first time in too long, my life is being controlled by me, and not the opinions of others.
Things will get easier.

The Runaway.

Posted on by

0

It’s very difficult to go back and read my old posts.
Since I had started this blog, I have been sliding deeper into a wormhole of mood swings, depression, self loathing, and all around mental instability.
I have never been like this. Not for this long. Of course like every woman in the world, I’ll go through stages (usually lasting a week at a time) of unhappiness, but when in lasts more than a couple months.. changes need to be made.
I don’t sleep.
I don’t eat.
I don’t put my whole heart into anything anymore, because I know I will be mocked for doing so.
I have never felt so lonely. I just want to run. I want to run as far away as my money will take me.
I would be leaving nothing behind.

Someone get this girl a smile!

Posted on by

0

I kind of jinxed myself when I named my Blog “The DAILY Barefoot”. Obviously I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with the façade of updating everyday. Well to be perfectly honest I’ve been in absolutely no mood this past month. I felt like I was repeating myself over and over again.
I’m upset, I don’t know why.
I’m fine, I don’t know why I was so upset.
I’m upset again, things never get better.
I’m fine, thing will get better.
I was just getting annoyed with myself for repeating over and over. Everytime I started to write, it just tossed my phone aside in frustration.
Well after a good month of not updating, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need some serious. Major. Joke free. CHANGES.
I’m not kidding, a girl can only hate what her life is turning into so much.
I thought my life in college was at a holding point, well shit this is a million times worse than college.
I’m doing nothing with my life, and I don’t like the place I’m living.
I need to move. I need to get away from the mountains. I need to go to a place where it is always warm and there are many many people to distract me.
My bestfriend and I were stalking shit back and forth as we usually do. I mentioned that I’ve never worked out so much in my life, and he answered me with the most obvious answer that I had been ignoring for the longer time..

Well yeah… It’s because you’re so depressed all the time.

Bam. Punch to face. Someone other than me sees it. I’m not just crazy, something is seriously wrong.
So I’m going to start slowly making changes to my life until I am back to being content and happy with my life… Like I’ve ALWAYS been.
I’m ready to be happy again.

The Plateau.

Posted on by

0

My best friends and I were texting today……

Now a little back ground on where by best friend is at in her life.. my best friend is one of the many military wives of San Diego. She moved to San Diego the same time I moved to Asheville, roughly 6 months ago. We had both moved to be with the one we loved (Although I cant really compare to what she has gone through, because she moved across country to be with her husband, and I moved an hour to be with by boyfriend of 4 months). IMG_1144Her husband has been deployed for roughly 4 months now, and he will still be deployed for 4 more months. She has moved for the first time in her adult life to the farthest point away without crossing an ocean, she moved without friends or family, and her husband shipped off in a matter of a few weeks after practically dropping her of in California. My best friend is one of the strongest women I’ve ever come to know.

Today we were discussing how we are both going through a point in our lives that is very plateau. We are both struggling pretty bad with keeping smiles on our faces, we’re both having a hard time pushing ourselves to get up every morning and convince ourselves its for a good reason.To think that our doors are exactly 2,331 miles (34 hours) apart from eachother, I feel like we are still sitting across the table from eachother, with our heavy hearts, in our favorite little restaurant in our old little town, ranting about our everyday lives and fixing eachothers problems with simple and honest advice.

We are both hoping that this little rough patch wears off. I just wish I was with her, so we could both rant about out problems, and then fix them with simple and honest advice…

December Thirtyfirst.

Posted on by

0

The very last day of 2012. It’s at this point you may come to realize that the thing you’ve been wanting to do all year, will not be done. You’ve officially set this year in stone as of today.

Why dont you just dwell on this year. How did you do? How bad did you fuck up? Or how much did you achieve?

Personally. I think I did pretty damn good with only one year to make things happen. In a matter of one year, I was caught up in a very unhealthy romance. I had broken a heart. I had gone through depression. I had every one of my closest friend move away from me. I had met a stranger out of the blue, who I later started dating. I had graduated college. I had quit an amazing job after 3+ years. I had moved to Asheville, NC to live with a man I had only met 5 months earlier. I had moved away from my family for the first time in my life, becoming the first person in my family to move away from Franklin in 20 years . I had gotten a very ‘professional’ job at a doctors office. I had gotten a promotion. I had fallen in love. I had kept in contact with my closest friends. I had met a lot of people and learned many things, it’s unbelievable that so many changes could happen in a matter of 12 months.
But what now? What is this upcoming year going to bring me?
Every year I read about people’s New Year Resolutions. And usually it’s all talk.
It’s weird how everyone in the country feels like tomorrow is the official day to make positive changes in their life. I’ll never understand why the start of a year is a better time to make changes than anyother day in entire the world.
Oh your fat and unhappy? You’re totally right, why don’t you wait until January 1st to try and make things better and go to the gym. Because that’s the only day all year that you can try and better yourself….. No idiot. You should have made some life changes a long ass time ago.
January 1st should not be spent telling yourself that things are going to get better, it should be spent with you congratulating yourself on being successful and happy and making great choices in the past year.
I may never fully understand the human race and the traditions that we find necessary. Even when I was a young girl I thought New Years Resolutions were a load of crock.
In conclusion. Think about it. Why are you waiting until January 1st to better yourself? You had to have know this needed to happen a long time ago.
People are lazy. I struggle to act like I don’t care about how lazy people are.
Stop dreaming up ideas on how you could be smarter or nicer or more attractive. Just take care of yourself and put other people’s feelings before your own. It really can’t get much simpler than that. I promise.

To get away someday.

Posted on by

0

When you spend most of your life preparing and working for a particular goal, what do you do when you finally reach that goal? Obviously find a new one, and work for that. I think it’s important to have some fort of motivation  or goal that you work towards.

Without it, you may wake up each day wondering what is the big picture. Yesterday was that day for me. After spending every day of college knowing that I would be moving away and happier then ever. Now that I have graduated college, and I’m working in a job that I very much enjoy, what am I working for? Why am I getting up everyday ? what IS my motivation?

For almost 10 years I’ve been working towards the goal of moving away and living in a beautiful home.

Now that I’ve reached that goal, my motivation now is fitness.

For the past 7 years I have been an Fitness Junky.. on and off of course.

But starting on Monday I’ll be buckling down and recording my progress.

When your life completely changes.

Posted on by

0

It sounds a little more drastic than it really is. It really isnt a big deal. I just flushed away the life I was living for the past 20 years. Completely threw it away, never to be lived again. . . even if I had to, I could never go back to the way life use to be..

Yeah you’re right. That sounds wicked dramatic. But this was exactly what I had been dreaming of doing since I was a child.

In July of 2012, I had become the first person in my family to pack up her bags, leave Franklin North Carolina, and create a new life. And might I add that never in my life would I have seen this coming.  All I ever wanted to do, for as long as I can remember, was join the Air Force and travel the world. I really didnt know exactly what I was expecting to get out of the Air Force, but I always knew that was what I
was going to once I graduated college. I also had big dreams of moving to the beach, because I’m not allergic to the trees there.  I have been saving huge chunks of my money since I was 14 to do that very thing. Move away from Franklin. I had been preparing for seven years to get out of there, and not once did I ever picture it being with a man. It didnt matter who I was dating, I always knew I would be moving, and I always pictured myself alone. I dont know how it managed to work itself out this way, but somehow, I met a man.

I met a man by the name of Bucky, on the very day I was going to take the ASVAB (Which is the test you must take to join the military). Looking back on that day I probably should have seen that as God punching me in the forehead and saying, “you idiot, your not REALLY joining the military.” But I just saw it as a unexpected surprise in my life. We didnt enjoy talking about me shipping off, we actually dodged the conversation most of the time. But he always assured me that he was willing to stick around as I traveled the world and risked my life. I never once thought a man would have changed my plans of the military, and I honestly don’t think he intended to.

Today I am living in the nicest home I’ve probably ever lived in. I have a difficult job that I never pictured myself doing, working in a doctors office, and I love it to death. I am in the greatest relationship I could have ever been blessed with, and I am living with the most extraordinary person I have ever met.

Life has never been so beautiful, and all I had to do was pick up and leave that town. It’s crazy how things just fell into place the way they did. Things couldnt have worked out more perfectly.