Why do people find themselves compelled to impress people. I’m so entirely burnt out from watching and hearing individuals going out of their way to convince others that they are interesting and impressive.
I mean, you learn over time that when someone says something only to make themselves sound interesting, it is simple meaningless surface shit.
It’s easy to tell when someone mentions facts about oneself that was completely unnecessary to bring up.
Why. Why do you have yourself convinced that these little meaningless “interesting” things is going to convince someone that you are a catch, or a better person. I will never understand.
I kind of jinxed myself when I named my Blog “The DAILY Barefoot”. Obviously I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with the façade of updating everyday. Well to be perfectly honest I’ve been in absolutely no mood this past month. I felt like I was repeating myself over and over again.
I’m upset, I don’t know why.
I’m fine, I don’t know why I was so upset.
I’m upset again, things never get better.
I’m fine, thing will get better.
I was just getting annoyed with myself for repeating over and over. Everytime I started to write, it just tossed my phone aside in frustration.
Well after a good month of not updating, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need some serious. Major. Joke free. CHANGES.
I’m not kidding, a girl can only hate what her life is turning into so much.
I thought my life in college was at a holding point, well shit this is a million times worse than college.
I’m doing nothing with my life, and I don’t like the place I’m living.
I need to move. I need to get away from the mountains. I need to go to a place where it is always warm and there are many many people to distract me.
My bestfriend and I were stalking shit back and forth as we usually do. I mentioned that I’ve never worked out so much in my life, and he answered me with the most obvious answer that I had been ignoring for the longer time..
Well yeah… It’s because you’re so depressed all the time.
Bam. Punch to face. Someone other than me sees it. I’m not just crazy, something is seriously wrong.
So I’m going to start slowly making changes to my life until I am back to being content and happy with my life… Like I’ve ALWAYS been.
I’m ready to be happy again.
Thanks to the fact that I’ve been documenting every moment of my life since I was a tween, I’ve made some pretty obvious observations. Like the fact that every winter I get dreadfully hateful and borderline depressed.. and then every summer I feel like I’m the freakin king of the world and could take on a damn army single handedly.
Luckily this year I’ve have a couple of different variables in my life compared to the 20 other years. But I’ve definitely been feeling the stab of my traditional winter gloom. I’m really trying to keep a positive mindset until summer rolls around, because I’m sure my poor boyfriend is about ready to lock me in a closet.
On a different subject, I’m really considering picking up a second job.
you know, cause my first job isn’t already dreadfully stressful, i dont have to deal with ridiculous people all day, it doesn’t take up all of my time, energy, and my sane mindset (sarcasm).
I just really, really miss waiting tables. I miss dealing with costumers, NOT patients… Okay really I just miss working 5 hours and making 100$.
Christmas has completely sucked me dry, and I really don’t want to start having money problems… Okay I really just want to be able to go out and not worry about how much I’m spending.
Ahhh the motivations of a 21 year old.