Going Home.

20131120-003958.jpg The other day I found myself silently celebrating my 6 month anniversary in Florida. 6 months of complete and total independent living, without my family or help of anykind.

I’ve been sailing a one manned ship for 6 very bumpy months, and I’ve managed to make it work every single day.
One thing I’ve learned in my life is that God likes to outdo Himself.
God has taken me places that I never thought possible. He has opened up doors that I never imagined and has brought me closer to my brother than I have ever in my life.
Staying up hours on end talking about the future, our lives, and our dreams. I truly believe that we put behind us the difficulties that we always had over the years.

Going home (North Carolina) for however long the trip might be, I always find myself feeling refreshed and relieved once I returned back to Florida. I can only handle so much of the past before it really eats at my heart. I spent 20 years racking up bad memories in a tiny 4 mile long town. Every building, every road, every person, has a memory attached to it. This last trip home was possibly the hardest, to date. I spent two long weeks in the mountains, trying my hardest to spend quality time with each and every person I loved. Well; mission accomplished.

Even though I was able to see everyone I had hoped to, I still spent most of my 9 hour drive home in tears. I had made a very difficult choice on my last day in North Carolina. A choice that I can see effecting me for years into the future. Truthfully I do not regret that decision, and I/m happy of my choice.

No lies, No facade, No fake smile. Exactly what you wanted.

Decisions.

526596_10151435218712155_1400496900_nOne of the hardest parts of life, is deciding whether to try harder, or walk away, and in some instances, those decisions end up being the greatest choices you’ve made for yourself in a very long time.
After months of fighting with my heart, and pushing aside the inevitable, I am finally doing what I have been planning for myself for years. Moving far, far away from North Carolina. Permanently. With no one to convince me to do otherwise, this is my life. For the first time in too long, my life is being controlled by me, and not the opinions of others.
Things will get easier.