Author Archives: Martini

Working hard or hardly… wait how did I get here?

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Some of the most unbelievable things have happened in my lifetime.

At the age of 15 I achieved a black belt 

At the age of 20 I graduated college.

At the age of 21 I landed a job in a doctors office, and three months later I am working as an x-ray assistant. It’s interesting to think about. My doctor said that landing that job right out of college is absolutely awesome. I guess it is! I’ve never actually been PROUD of the job I had. Yes working in a doctors office is an achievement enough, after only working in restaurants for most of my life. But to truly sit back and be like.. damn… who would have thunk it. I’m practically an adult!… not. haha I’m actually the youngest one back there. Everyone in the back of the house with me are in their 30’s and 40’s. it’s interesting to see how I fit in that mix, the 21 year old who has action figures glued to her dashboard, and obsesses over scifi movies and television shows. 

Do not get me wrong, this is an extremely stressful job. Absolutely it is the most stressful job I have ever been tied down to. And now that my boyfriend has opened his own business  and isnt going to be getting a steady paycheck every week like we have been use to… I have a feeling that my dream of becoming a fitness instructor anytime soon, isnt going to be happening. Thats okay though. I’m prepared to work my ass off for as long as I can possible handle it. 

I think I just handle stress different than the average person. Bucky’s buddy and mentioned it a couple times how when I come home, I’m never in a bad mood. But as my doctors have told me many times…. I am very atypical, and even though I never think I’m stressed out, my body shows otherwise. I’ll be in constant pain, and break out in hives. It’s the weirdest thing, but it’s becoming obvious how stressed out I am at work, and how I’m able to bottle it up until it leaks out…. via health issues. 

I never complain about work. Honestly I never complain about anything. I’ve never been much of a complainer about serious issues like my job. Usually all it takes is a break down on my halfhour drive home everyday after work, and then I’m good to carry on for another. 

This is life I suppose. It is never beautiful and perfect all the time. In every aspect.

But I love my boyfriend dearly, and he takes care of me in everyway I could ask him to. 

Life is good. Life is successful 

Gluttony day. Love it anyway.

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This is my 21st Thanksgiving. 21 years of spending Thanksgiving at my grandparents house with my entire family. But this will be ther very first year that I will not only be having thanksgiving with my family, but also my boyfriends family. I’ve never felt so thankful in my life. I’ve never had so many things to be proud of. This is going to be the most wonderful day 🙂

EDIT:

I was right. The most amazing day with two amazing families. My throat is sore for all the laughing and loving life.  Never been more content with the world.

My amazing ThanksGiving consisted of:

Wasabi, edamame hummus.

Cucumber.

Sweet potato baked fries.

Steamed Broccoli.

And my homemade detox juice.

Suck it America. I dont play no games, no mater what the holiday.

 

Do what you love while you’re young.

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Today is the first weekend in almost 3 months that we will get to spend together, doing whatever we want.
That is because yesterday Bucky quit his job as a satellite technician, and will be living his dream running a music studio in the new house. It takes a lot for someone to forget about money (which is usually the only thing people truly care for), and work for there dreams.
Bucky has talked about running his studio since as long as I’ve known him. It is what he is truly passionate for. And now, with plenty of motivation from his friends and girlfriend, he finally took the leap of faith. I’m loaning him $1,500 to get the studio started, and on our first Saturday off together, we are going to Charlotte to get everything he needs to start out.

I’m so happy to be helping him on this journey.

I may never understand why it is so taboo for someone to do what they love, rather than do something that makes them miserable but pays well. It’s the American way I suppose.
Bucky has been working an average of about 70 hours a week, we get about 3 hours before bed to spend time together, and he get about 2 days off a week that he spends usually working on music.
No one should spend there young life doing nothing but working a job they dont enjoy.
Thats what Im doing, and thats how people become depressed.

I couldnt be more happy with our decision. I see good things in our future.

Colossal Studios

Dont mess with a FanGirl’s Fandom.

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You know what troubles me. Trying to figure out how I am going to break it to future generations that there exists not only 3 (for now) horrendous prequels to the Star Wars trilogy, but that in my day, there was a version of the original trilogy released with putrid CG effects, unnecessary cameos, the asinine liberties, and  I loved every second of it. Now Star Wars is completely remade with new effects and completely new scenes. Okay, I can handle this (simply because they do look completely badass) But I see many more changes in Star Wars. IF IT AINT BROKE, DONT FIX IT, DAMN IT!

As if enough wasn’t screwed up in the world, Disney went and bought the Star Wars franchise. Leave it alone Disney; don’t screw up a good series. Create another manufactured pop star or whatever you gotta do, just don’t continue the storyline after Return of the Jedi . All was right with the galaxy. The prequels were seriously treacherous enough. Let’s leave it that way.

The Future of Star Wars:

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Star Wars: Episode VII – 2015
Star Wars: Episode VIII – 2017
Star Wars: Episode IX – 2019

(Rumored)

I’ll always support Star Wars. And believe you me.. I went to Star Wars weekend at Disney and it was one of the most amazing days of my life. But what is Disney going to do with this new power over Star Wars. They can change it any way they want now… WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO MY WORLD?! The plus side– George Lucas has donated his 4.05 billion dollars of blood money to a good cause.

So healthy, yet never well.

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I’ve been really having problems with my health lately… Honestly I’ve been having problems with my health for years, but it’s really starting to show lately. It will always come in flairs, and I’m assuming this is a flair. I just cant seem to feel healthy lately. I’m constantly trying to push aside and ignore  nausea, abdominal pain, and hives.

Everything I eat makes me feel sick, and nothing seems to help. I’m sick and tired of hearing myself complain about it. I’d rather just try and ignore it. I’m usually pretty good at that. It’s just so difficult to ignore pain, and not let if effect my everyday life. 

I take such good care of myself, considering the average american.

I exercise constantly.

I eat nothing but health food.

I pound back water all day long.

I’m always taking vitamins and supplements.

I’m practically a walking health magazine. You would think that being so strict on myself, I would have something more to show for it. Like GOOD HEALTH.

I spent so much time going to doctors for the past few years, if I never see the inside of another doctors office, I would be the happiest woman alive. I have never once had a doctor truly help me and relieve me of any pain. What makes me think that something might be different now.

I cant stand people feeling bad for me, or people trying to fix me. Id rather fix my own problems…. so far I’m not doing too well on that part.

Slightly Farther Away.

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Today it’s really become clear to me how much I’m missing in my friends lives. The friends that I really feel the closest too, and the friends that have always been there for me. I dont really have anyone to go to when I just need to hangout and talk and spend time together. Go thrift shopping and spend time in little coffee shops eating and drinking over priced foods and not giving a shit because you’re enjoying yourselves.

I dont have many close friends, but the ones that I do have, I cant believe I’m living my life without them. I’ve always considered one of those cliché “I only have guy friends” girls. But right now I am truly and deeply missing my girlfriends. There arent many out there.. there actually is like only two out there. And I cant help myself but miss them more and more everyday I’m away from them.

One of those girls is the beautiful (inside and out), and amazing Savvy Selby. For a woman that I was never friends with while we lived in the same town, its amazing we have grown so close with so much distance between us. Savvy lives 11 hours away from me and means the absolute world to me.

The other woman who is the reason why I am who I am today, is Lindsey Newton. She is probably the greatest human being in my eyes, and I dont know where I would be without knowing her. It’s so difficult being so far away from her.

As of a few short months ago, she has moved almost 40 hours away from me. We have always been so busy throughout out lives, but now that we are apart, it’s like we never had enough time to be there for eachother.

Our lives have completely taken 360 degree turns into new lives, and we cant even bee with eachother every step of the way.

Its almost scary. I dont remember my life before her, and I never thought we would be apart.

I dont have any really close friends here right now. I’m actually pretty worried that I wont be able to fnd any close friends that I can truly relate too. All I do is spend time at the gym, go to work, and blog. Not really a lifestyle to be meeting people.

 

My boyfriend is great, but he isnt a friend. I cant talk to him about.. him. Or clothes and anything along those lines. It’s hard for him to understand I’m sure, but this is difficult for me.

And of course there is Foster. The closest male friend I have. It so difficult to not be

able to hangout with him every night at the gym. We had become such great friends over a matter of a couple of months. Foster lives 3 hours away from me, which doesnt seen like that big of a deal. But we almost never get to see eachother anymore. Out of all of my friends, he was the one that I was able to talk to everyday, no matter what out scheduled looked like. We always made time. And it’s always difficult to tell him that I cant hangout because my boyfriend doesnt trust him. It difficult.

 

To get away someday.

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When you spend most of your life preparing and working for a particular goal, what do you do when you finally reach that goal? Obviously find a new one, and work for that. I think it’s important to have some fort of motivation  or goal that you work towards.

Without it, you may wake up each day wondering what is the big picture. Yesterday was that day for me. After spending every day of college knowing that I would be moving away and happier then ever. Now that I have graduated college, and I’m working in a job that I very much enjoy, what am I working for? Why am I getting up everyday ? what IS my motivation?

For almost 10 years I’ve been working towards the goal of moving away and living in a beautiful home.

Now that I’ve reached that goal, my motivation now is fitness.

For the past 7 years I have been an Fitness Junky.. on and off of course.

But starting on Monday I’ll be buckling down and recording my progress.