Dear 2017 me,

The sole reason I’m writing today, is to give me the opportunity to look back and be proud of myself.

Today, September 12th 2016, I find myself unemployed (by my own choice) and searching for the job that is going to make my life a joy. I’ve been in this new city for 42 days, and in that time I have 

  1. Trained at the karate school once a week 
  2. Started a job, and quit said job withing 4 weeks
  3. Made absolutely zero friends 
  4. Gained a considerable amount of weight
  5. Read 8 chapters of a fictional book 
  6. And really done absolutely nothing that I am proud of (besides climb a few waterfalls and mountains) 

 I’m now without a job, and unhappy with where I am personally right now.

So what next. Am I going to get that job that I’ve been praying and begging for? Am I going to continue to train for my Adult black belt? Or am I going to find myself settling for a low paying job, like so many people I’ve met here.

Only time will tell. And I am giving myself the opportunity to look back and see me at another low point in my life. 
All I can do is pray, and wait for God to open a door for me. He knows exactly where I need to be in life, and the opportunity will arise.  

I just hope it’s soon…


The Day Job.

Today we had a patient come in for a routine X-ray. As I brought her from her waiting room to the X-ray room, I noticed that she was dressed nicely with a pink cardigan and black slacks, she held a purse in one hand and a jacket in the other, she had short black hair with signs of greying. She heard me with little difficulty and walked just as fast as I did down the halls of the building. She was slightly short tempered but didn’t speak much. This woman was born on September 22, 1918. This would make her 94 years old.
I was astounded. When you work in an orthopedics office, you see people in there 50’s who look like they’re on they’re deathbed. But this lady was 94, and just a lucid as you and me.
Amazed by her, we asked, “What is your secret for looking so young at 94?”
Without hesitation, and almost irritation she answered, “I just don’t worry about things all the time.”
You can imagine the look on my face.
This woman’s unbelievable aging secret is not to stress. Not to stress about work, or money, or your shitty relationship.
Well I’m screwed… Why haven’t people figured this out earlier? It’s such a simple thing. Don’t stress. Just breath. Don’t stress.

Working hard or hardly… wait how did I get here?

Some of the most unbelievable things have happened in my lifetime.

At the age of 15 I achieved a black belt 

At the age of 20 I graduated college.

At the age of 21 I landed a job in a doctors office, and three months later I am working as an x-ray assistant. It’s interesting to think about. My doctor said that landing that job right out of college is absolutely awesome. I guess it is! I’ve never actually been PROUD of the job I had. Yes working in a doctors office is an achievement enough, after only working in restaurants for most of my life. But to truly sit back and be like.. damn… who would have thunk it. I’m practically an adult!… not. haha I’m actually the youngest one back there. Everyone in the back of the house with me are in their 30’s and 40’s. it’s interesting to see how I fit in that mix, the 21 year old who has action figures glued to her dashboard, and obsesses over scifi movies and television shows. 

Do not get me wrong, this is an extremely stressful job. Absolutely it is the most stressful job I have ever been tied down to. And now that my boyfriend has opened his own business  and isnt going to be getting a steady paycheck every week like we have been use to… I have a feeling that my dream of becoming a fitness instructor anytime soon, isnt going to be happening. Thats okay though. I’m prepared to work my ass off for as long as I can possible handle it. 

I think I just handle stress different than the average person. Bucky’s buddy and mentioned it a couple times how when I come home, I’m never in a bad mood. But as my doctors have told me many times…. I am very atypical, and even though I never think I’m stressed out, my body shows otherwise. I’ll be in constant pain, and break out in hives. It’s the weirdest thing, but it’s becoming obvious how stressed out I am at work, and how I’m able to bottle it up until it leaks out…. via health issues. 

I never complain about work. Honestly I never complain about anything. I’ve never been much of a complainer about serious issues like my job. Usually all it takes is a break down on my halfhour drive home everyday after work, and then I’m good to carry on for another. 

This is life I suppose. It is never beautiful and perfect all the time. In every aspect.

But I love my boyfriend dearly, and he takes care of me in everyway I could ask him to. 

Life is good. Life is successful