Reckless and Brave.

I’ve come to learn that I’m pretty fearless when it comes to almost every situation in life.
Two years ago I packed up and drove 3 hours to spend the weekend with a man I had never met.
Two months ago I packed up and drove 2 hours to spend 24 hours with a man I had spoken to once at a concert.
And yesterday I drove 2 hours to see yet another man I admire in a band (shocker).

It was quiet possibly the most reckless thing I’ve done in a while. Band guys are notorious for having their way with women. But I walked away with my dignity and some amazing stories.
But when I got home my roommate was in tears. I realized that never in my life have I had someone truly worry about me. Worry enough to stay up all night and lose sleep over my decisions.
Wow… Really? I’ve never had someone worry about me as much as her?
That’s so unbelievable. When she sat there crying and telling me how worried she was, I was completely stunned. How could someone worry for me? But Im so careless. I’m such a spur of the moment person.
Why would someone put themselves though the heartache of worrying for me?

It was a real eye opener. That’s for sure.


Do what you love while you’re young.

Today is the first weekend in almost 3 months that we will get to spend together, doing whatever we want.
That is because yesterday Bucky quit his job as a satellite technician, and will be living his dream running a music studio in the new house. It takes a lot for someone to forget about money (which is usually the only thing people truly care for), and work for there dreams.
Bucky has talked about running his studio since as long as I’ve known him. It is what he is truly passionate for. And now, with plenty of motivation from his friends and girlfriend, he finally took the leap of faith. I’m loaning him $1,500 to get the studio started, and on our first Saturday off together, we are going to Charlotte to get everything he needs to start out.

I’m so happy to be helping him on this journey.

I may never understand why it is so taboo for someone to do what they love, rather than do something that makes them miserable but pays well. It’s the American way I suppose.
Bucky has been working an average of about 70 hours a week, we get about 3 hours before bed to spend time together, and he get about 2 days off a week that he spends usually working on music.
No one should spend there young life doing nothing but working a job they dont enjoy.
Thats what Im doing, and thats how people become depressed.

I couldnt be more happy with our decision. I see good things in our future.

Colossal Studios

Austin Carlile called. He said stop stalking him.

Its been a while since I’ve felt the stab of regret, but I’ve been seriously regretting missing the OM&M concert last week.

I mean shit.. I was  practically getting ready when I decided otherwise. Why? I dont know. Obviously because I’m mentally insane.

Im so frustrated about it actually. I guess thats pretty stupid of me.

I could have seen Austin Carlile, and Kellin Quinn again.. I’ve been listening to nothing but, lately. Uh. What an idiot I am. Never again.

I’ve also come to realize today, how much my boyfriend LOOKS like Austin.

Slightly creepy. Slightly explains why I wanna jump his bones all the time.