It’s been an interesting couple of weeks.
I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster, heading mostly in the direction of complete and total disgust and unwavering anger towards the opposite sex. My last nerve has been pinched, and I’ve officially become the super heartless bitch that I always I knew could be, but never thought would be.
Usually you hear about women being the clingy emotionally draining psychopaths.
Unfortunately it’s those exact traits that the men that find me appealing seem to have.
I’m done being nice. I’m over being sweet.
Done and done.
If you’ve ever been in love, you know how it is. A relationship in the first flush of love is so exciting. Your heart beats faster when you think of your dear one. You make up any excuse to be together, and all your free time revolves around them.Your circle of friends expands to include theirs, and with their encouragement you try some of the adventurous things you never dreamed could. And your friends and family are so happy for you.
Time passes and things change.
You begin to discover not only who you are, but who you are in relation to them. Some of it is good, some of it not as much.
And then they change a little, too. You begin to see who they are and learn what you can expect of them
And it’s still good. You can adapt, accept them for their flaws. You will not abandon.
And things change still more. Communication breaks down. You’re spending more and more time trying to fix things and make them work as smoothly as before.
It’s not easy. Because of the time you’re investing, you begin to feel more isolated from the ones you love.
The warm glow you used to feel has disappeared and been replaced by frustration and disappointment.
And you wonder, is it worth it… Is this worth it.